Dudiba Dumb

Alright, so I'm blogging now while squatting on the toilet bowl =________________= *lavender aromatheraphy*

And I just woke up, have been sleeping ever since I get home from work, with the help of a prescription pill man, cannot believe it I also need to sleep by popping pills r.

But, at least it helps, I just past out *peacefully*

Was a rubbish day at work, everyone is perfectly fine, I'm the one showing a face darker than an overly-used wok *soli la people*

Y U NO SEE I CANNOT CONTROL ONE HaHaHaHaHaHa

This is the power of <3

Or mb I was infected with his "stubborn beyond description" pattern.
And I think I just called him. It's just the usual me, whenever he's not messaging or calling, I get anxious, MY IMPULSE MY ME DO IT GEH DAMN

Giving up is easy, you just got to tell yourself, find someone else to fuck man and then gradually, whatever you spark you thought you have between will erm... disappear like bubbles in the thin air.

But, I was able to feel the spark (or whatever disillussion it was) and we had them, we probably still have them, and it's not "thought", at least to me, it's not.

"Tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi"

Betul.

If I'm the one fighting, I'm the one dying worst than now in the end. Deeply I know where I stand la I just takkan believe that he's DEAD =)

Literally.

Btw, I cant resist sharing a email-exchange with a colleague of mine this afternoon, he's siao one, siao ta por r!!!

So, this was a reply from me to him asking how I was doing:

Sorry for late reply, just saw your message.. <-- forgiven

I look like a piece of shyte right duh.... <-- if I had a choice between you and shit, it would still be you.

Haven't been sleeping for 2 nights, need to get medicine from Dr Tee later.. <-- i survived longer

Tues night, party was great, the 4 of us drank like hell... mixture of beers, wine, rum etc.. (Now you know I lied when I say I don't drink) <-- I already knew when I asked about your complexion =)

Then we started cursing for....for everything.... It's usually during low period like this that you can see who your friends r, they stand by you. <-- oh damn, i wasn't there.

Man, I suck so much! 2 years and 9 months, how long will it take me recover to my old bubbly self, i really don't know, <-- according to my calculations, 46 days.

It's like i'm living in a soul-less life anticipating his call <--don't wait, call him instead and wonder why he didn't speak to me when he realized that something wrong with us that he needed to find a way out, with someone else.

So basically, he just c&p the whole thing and reply in blue =____= Y U SO LAZY HaHaHaHaHa 

And WHY YOU NO SHOW EMPATHY ONE HaHaHaHaHa I SUE YOU R!!! *insider joke*

Retyping all these just make me .. *weep weep weep*

I'll just have to accept the fact that my sayang is dead the minute he decided to look for "a better substitute"

So dead means I can drink right? I deserve to be sad huh...

True. I'll still love him the way I did because that was promise for him. And I told him the other day that he can always come back to cry if he needs to.

Damn I'm sipek gong tai.

There was once upon a time while he was away, I sang this or lip-sync this to him through msn to tell him that loving him is the only one thing I never regret.

Ends.