Again

Here I am, coming back to the place that have been abandoned for so long, so so so long. In time of despair like I am now, I couldn't believe that I don't have a friend close enough to confide in. For work, for this relationship and for us, I've almost neglected all the other important elements and people in life. Now that this pillar of strength is showing signs of uncertainty, I find myself completely lost. Lost in a world of my own. Lost in my future directions. Lost as in who am becoming into?

It all started with a matter smaller than a peanut, but it makes me question, Who am I to him? Where do I stand? What about my family? Is love only the matter of 2 people?

Where are all the chivalries go? Where are all the good boyfriends who will spend time with your family and understand them as your own? Where are all the good guys who parents will approve?

I don't know what are we now. It's not official. For Heaven sake I'm not even sure if I can handle this as calm as I thought when it's completely over. It has been a long way with a fair share of laughters and tears. 2 & 1/2 year is too long...I seriously swear that I never had a romantic relationship this long. And now, from the way it seem there will not be a happily-ever-after ending.

Do I love him, you ask. Yes, I do. Can I live without him? No but I'll have to if things go wrong.

If only he could change just a little bit.... less temperamental, less provocative.... Be more mature, see the bigger picture and not always pointing fingers.

Respect people more. As in ME AND MY FAMILY.

But, I know its impossible. He will never change himself, at least not for me.

I'm stuck in between my loved ones.

Can anyone tell me what to do?

Ends.