I'm fucked.
I miss him so terribly much. So so so much that I can't resist messaging him. But I try not to bother him too much because I don't want him to hate me. I just want him to know that I'll always be there for him. Maybe I should just accept the fact that this man, who I'm still very much in love with, is dead. He's a new man, bigger dreams and deserve nothing but the best.
My heart bleeds. Beyond description.
People around asking me to give up but I don't want to give up. I still love the "tor sau lang keok" Qi. And the man who will bring me, drive around while holding my hand and tell me, "I'll not let you go".
Shyte man, I don't think I can live a day sane without drinking.
At least after I drink, I cry, I talk to the imaginary him, I'll feel better.
Maybe I should go out and drink every night and bury my sadness.
I Love You Sayang
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