If I’m Muppet, that makes me a very manly (womanly) Muppet
If I’m a Muppet, that makes me a Muppet of a man (woman)
HaHaHa.. those are lines from some song that just popped up my mind out of nowhere. Muppets.
Home, semi-drunk (you see, knowing that I’ve to work tomorrow, I have SELF-CONTROL. Pass out a little while, woke up by the sound of someone shouting. CCB!
Well, I know you guys care, and I know I’m acting stupid. I perfectly understand how stupid it is to put myself and my health in jeopardy.
But hey, I’m extremely sad here, beyond description and understanding. So, cut me some slack and let me just drink whatever I want, whenever I want, okay?
I think my throat and liver will forgive me, for the meantime. Wakakaka. Sarcastic dumbass.
I want so badly to talk to him, so badly wanna hug him, so badly wish him to come home and eat “tahi ayam” *our dirty joke, don’t care so much*
But I can’t, why wanna make myself so cheap? People are having a great time with their “special someone”, will he care?
No, absolutely not. I totally accept that.
It’s just that I’m hoping for a miracle, maybe this is all just a nightmare. Big liar Joy.
Anyway, I did the next stupid thing. I texted him. Texted him to his Melb number. Can you believe it? I wonder if 3Mobile operator will receive that and wonder which “siao char bor is this?” HaHaHa Keep “sayang this and sayang that”. What the hell is sayang anyway?!
And by the way, my name is Joy. With whatever I’m doing now, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy myself okay! I enjoy drinking, I enjoy numbness, I enjoy the feeling of brain freeze and I seriously love how each drink strengthen my immunity to liquor. I need more and more and more just to feel a little tipsy ;)
To you guys who texted me all the time to check on me, I thank you guys big time. I’m listening to you guys, but give me some time ok. Do you understand, it’s like someone taking away a big part of your life. And you don’t even realise it until... let’s just say until it’s apparent.
Still I don’t understand, just last Monday, he was saying that we should get a bigger bed so that I can stay there more often. Then come Wednesday, he’s dating another girl. That’s just ridiculous!
Try to think from my side, if I don’t care what’s happening, that means I never love him ok to have any reaction. And let me tell you again, I love him. Even until this moment when people keep reminding me of his betrayals and lies, I still miss the old big bear. The big bear who’s fat, sloppy, with a haircut from my parent’s teen days, use b&w Nokia, wear the same shirt every 3 days, and still thinks he is very yeng.
I just love the natural part of him. This is clear, no doubt. Don’t advise me to give up and forget the whole episode and move on.
I’ll move on. But I don’t know when. Eventually.
If you are my friend, just gimme a buzz and we shall meet up for more booze. But woah, take it easy if all of a sudden I cry my shyte out. I only have one life, lemme cry all I want okay?
Oh wait, did he text me or call me just now? Am not sure, it must be my imagination. I’m too afraid to check my cell. You see, if it’s true, why is that? Does he care? No, he wouldn’t. If he cares, he won’t did all the things he had done. But it was vivid, I remember hearing his voice.
Urrghhh.... where’s my phone? Must be at the shoe rack... the last time I used my phone was to text him to 3Mobile.. I must be dreaming.
Btw, I bought a new bra set. Christmas theme. Show you guys tomorrow if I’m wearing them. Or later.
I can’t wait for tomorrow!!! I’ll be sleeping over at a friend’s house and we will drink till dawn, yay!~ Got permission from dad, he says it’s ok if I answer whenever he calls. Really excited, like a kid waiting to go school camp, KaKaKa~
Only this time, the camp rules stated: above 18 and without adult supervision, woohoo!!!!~~~~
I’m typing this as I’m doing mask.. ish, drinking is good but it’s extremely hazardous to the skin trust me, you see crack lines, you see pimples pop out at the strangest place (ear ok?!)
And the voice; hoarse, sexy, seductive, just the way I like it
I wonder if I can work tomorrow. Yea, with this kind of emotional rides, I think I’ll offend a lot of customers.
This morning, I went for a jog. I jog until my body begged me to stop. And then, I went to Gurney drive, drove to a spot with lesser people, I stood there on the rock overlooking the sea, I cried so hard and screamed my lungs out until some random rich tai-tai got a shock. She was walking her dog, I didn’t realise she was there. Luckily the dog didn’t bite me abo I’m really sueh already. Saw a huge ship, I was telling him a couple of weeks ago that we should go on board for some relaxation.
It’s clear, it never happen.
I’m thinking of having some vacation. Quit my job, bring a bag and go. Somewhere, that will help me recover.
“I need a doctor, doctor, doctor to bring me back to life”
Last Christmas, he was unable to be home and we spent the night having candlelight dinner through msn. But it was nothing lavish la just Maggie Mee with hot dog :D
This year, he chose to spend the night with new found “someone special”. I had dinner with a senior from Uni, he cracked some jokes to make me laugh of course but failed beyond expectation. Zzzzz......
Okay, I should get a bath and sleep before the power of liquor totally dies off..............
Nah, show you guys ma stooopid face (*.^)
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Sila jangan gelak..muka ini dilatih selepas minum 3 hari berturut-turut.     I wanna make love right now now now Now sleep la! |
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