Here I go again...

January 11, 2012 @ 11:57pm

Now if you gonna read this, prepare yourself cause I'm gonna rant a lot, complaint a lot & maybe curse like it's the only language I know. Why? Cause nothing goes smooth today, not even work, which is the only thing that I find solace in.

Some bad shyte happened again at work today, and you know what, the culprit is acting like a victim again. Like.. "Oh, why does this happen.. or why me, I'm innocent" Really fuck this piece of shyte, acting as if we are all at fault & she's just "unlucky" and happened to be there only. Sometimes,  really wonder am I at the right place? Right organization I mean.. You see, I find that most of the time people do things to satisfy their bosses internally rather than spending their time & effort to assist our customers. Aren't we suppose to be serving people "with a smile"? And if everyone is selfish enough to just taking care of their own ass & apple-polishing, then what happen to our customers? If you don't make your customers happy, & you prefer to shoe-licking, then maybe I suggest you switch to a different field. Be a cobbler instead.

Was at the gym & chatted with JustinG for a couple of minutes. I was telling him the situation I'm in & he was like, "Oh, it happened to me last year but I'm feeling better now" WTF How can I easily erase someone from my mind, someone that is obviously not worth it, someone that is I don't know, learning how to hate wtf. It takes time, that's what everybody say and yea, I've been there but it just gets harder when you are old lolzzz But you know what, I'm glad that it happened now, I mean not like later on when my heart couldn't take any more crisis or 'surprises" like this wtf. And there is blessings in disguise, people care about me, people who I've neglected in the past, people who stand by me although I was never really there for them, people who concern about me & keeping track on my progress each other. I really love you guys.

He called a while ago, I answered. We chatted for a moment & it made me realise that as bad as he may be, I kind of miss him at times. I miss people calling me sayang. I miss people loving me as if I'm the most precious thing on earth. And I kinda miss those time we spent together doing nothing or just watch a lousy movie on a Saturday night. I miss pillow talks. You know what, I find it very pressure to live in this cynical world & to have someone resting next to you after a hard day or a long week is truly a blessing. Appreciate your love ones people, don't ended up like me.

But well, since I'm a smarter gal now, I can already control my mind by not missing him. Very easy only, I remember when I confronted him, he said, "She (the gal) is not a bitch" FINE! LET ME BE THE BITCH THEN. How dare he defending another gal in front of me? But it was also clear to me that I have no position in his heart, any longer.

Enough of him. Let's count the blessings that I have now. Erm.. first, I have a few besties who spend time teaching me how to swim. And those who drink drank drunk with and you, you & you!

nite.

puteri