Sadly tonight, we almost fight again. Argue will be a better word I presume. Considering the little time, space & opportunity we have meeting each other virtually, it bothers me with the fact that our conversation almost always ended not so happily. I'm asking myself lately, are we somehow taking each other for granted? Are we up to face all the challenges that LDR in-store for us?
It's at the time like this, when the night falls that I have the right "feel" to pen down my thoughts, to tell you how I really feel, the share the emotional trauma that this relationship is bringing into my life and yours. Almost every silent night, by admiring the beauty of million stars in the sky, I shed tears only to be interrupted with the buzzing sound of insects from the park nearby.
in this little corner...
My mind is a mess right now, thank God my life isn't, well...at least not yet! I've so much things, all these confusions and doubts in here that I don't know where to start. Guess I'm at a juncture where I'm being bombarded with so many decision making to do. This is a point in life, the time of the year where I and probably most of the people out there will sit down and evaluate almost every aspects of life. You got to think of your job, career, family, relationship and everything. And every decision you make whether you realize it or not, something or someone is at stake. There's a huge risk factor in it. I admit, yours truly are not capable in handling to much risk. Sometimes, I would rather take the less adventurous path just so that everyone will be safe and sound, everyone will be happy. The key here is stability & security, not only financially but also in a relationship, especially LDR. Trust...yea...I guess trust is all that matters.
It reads: This is Joy Lim Chen Lin's education fund. Alternatively, it can be a retirement fund(:
Thinking back, it has been almost 2 years we dated each other. We had a fair share of laughters and tears. From the start barely 3 months we committed into the relationship, we were being separated, hence started our LDR. Being together and separated, together again and the next minute kissing each other goodbye at the airport, my heart bleeds thinking of all these separations which almost killed us. "I Love You Forever", that's what you have been telling me but who are we to define forever?
forever?
I know deep down inside you are dying to keep this critical relationship alive. But something is obviously wrong when you told me that we do not seem to share any common topics anymore. I couldn't agree more. Are we driven apart by the strains of this LDR that we finally feel the pinch? Does this fate fall upon every couple? You console me by saying that this kind of situation doesn't happen when we are together, I'm partially convinced.
Sayang,
Please understand that I'm trying to the very best of my ability and effort to be with you. There are things that I cannot share publicly yet at the same time I couldn't bring myself to telling you things which are not certain.
Give me time, I need more, more & more time.
I dedicate this song to you, I Love You Sayang.
Goodnight...
